Better, but still... something...

So these past two weeks have been much better than my last post.

I think a big part of it has to do with the weather just boosting my mood with the bright, sunny, warm days we've been having.

Anywho... so last weekend my sister Megan came to visit me on Friday. I busted out of work about an hour early and met her at the Mall of America, where we wandered around lost for awhile and then ate at Noodles, then wandered around some more until we headed back to my house. All we ended up doing there was watching a couple of movies on TV (Ocean's 13 and The Bourne Identity). Went to bed, got up the next morning and I think did more nothing. We eventually went over to Target and bought some necessities and eventually she had to head back to Eau Claire. Her being here was a big morale booster as well. We didn't even do much other than chill, hang out, talk. It's just nice catching up with her for once (and yes I know you're probably reading this, happy now? :P).

Right now Kaylee is climbing all over me; she just crawled inside my sweatshirt and was hanging out in there for awhile. Which is better than trying to crawl all over the keyboard like she was before. I get the feeling I have some rat poop inside my sweatshirt now though... nope! Good rat!!

Tuesday night Tom and I went to McMahon's for his friend's karaoke show. It was actually fun, with the lack of some of his less than fun friends present. I even got a free shamrock necklace thing (ok free cheap thing with a big Guinness token on the end of it but whatever!). We went out again on Wednesday night as well (St. Patrick's Day) and again had fun. A different bar this time but same karaoke show.

Saturday was at the Cardinal (same show! same group of friends - the good set). Had a lot of fun and there was a big group of people there who were really getting into the karaoke. Some excellent singers as well.

Sunday (today) Tom and I went to see Repo Men in theaters. It was AMAZING. I mean I was sort of expecting just a lame, expected plot with lots of action and gore (the action and gore I got) but there were some excellent unexpected plot twists that just made the movie great. It was also a good insight as to how far human greed can go (and sometimes I believe it could go that far). Afterwards we went to his friend's house for a BBQ. That was kind of a bust because it just got a little too chilly outside but we all hung out inside and had a good time. Good food too - some delicious cookies! And good conversations.

Well that's a really shortened version of my last two weeks, I left out a bunch of stuff from work (big boss was in for the past two weeks, took us out to lunch on Thursday to a sushi place; wants me to work on some illustrations which is both good and bad because I'd love to but haven't been trained that way so don't know what he's expecting as far as quality goes; lots of business there and staying late), as well as some other little stuff from the week (Kaylee keeping me up late or not letting me sleep with her wheel-running; trying to make plans for this coming weekend with my mom - Chicago, Vegas, anything and it all fell through), etc. But I guess I hit on the major points.

Just put Kaylee back in her cage - she did not poop or pee on me or my desk once! Now that's a good rat!! (she definitely got a treat for it too)

That's about it I guess. Time for me to clean Kaylee's cage...

PS - I just remembered the title of my post. Basically, I am better, but still lacking some level of happiness that I feel is essential in remaining sane. Maybe the weather will help me achieve that but I'm still thinking I need a vacation badly, and not just over a weekend. I'm thinking that I might do a big Europe trip whenever I figure my life out. As in, sometime between quitting this job and moving on to whatever's next I might try to do a big roadtrip through Europe or maybe somewhere else. Like a monthlong thing. Or maybe I won't, I just feel like that would be a good time to do it, between jobs or life stages. I should have done it after graduation but I was dirt-broke. Not that I'm rolling in cash now or anything but my finances are a little more stable. Anyway, those are my thoughts on that...

What's with YOUR attitude, bitch?

I sometimes really really really wish I liked beer. I wish I liked drinking it as much as some of the people I've been hanging out with lately do. I've never wished that before now, but if I drank it would make all the ridiculous outings with these people a hundred times more enjoyable. I'd be easily less bored and probably less pissy every time I go out.

What prompts this topic? Tom's working karaoke at the Cardinal (bar) tonight and a bunch of his friends are there as well. I elected to go in later (it started at 8pm) in order to get some laundry and cleaning done. So I went in around 11pm, sat down at the table with his friends, and proceeded to be completely ignored. I'm shy and self-conscious enough as it is, but having all of my comments go unresponded to just put me in a not-having-fun mood. Then, when a known not-so-good singer went up to the stand, all of Tom's friends went outside. So that left me inside alone. I went up to talk to Tom, since he had a mini-break, and got about two words in before he walked away from me to go talk to a bunch of girls having a bachelorette party. Wtf?

Eventually the rest of the "friends" came back and sat around me at the table and two of them asked one of the bar workers for their tabs. They happened to be the two sitting to either side of me. So the bartender (for lack of a better title) then looks at me and goes, "What's with your attitude?" I was shocked. Yes, I was in a bad mood, but I generally conceal it pretty well. All kinds of potential responses came to mind, everything from accusing the fucker of ignoring me when I was desperately thirsty (for water, but whatever no one even asked when I got in) to trying to laugh it off. What I did was glare at him until he walked away. The thing is, I'm pretty sure I looked at Tom's friends after he said it and it looked like they were agreeing with him. When he walked back with their tabs he then goes "Looks like your attitude's improved already!" I was so incredibly pissed and upset, with no one talking to me other than to insult me for no reason I walked up to Tom and told him I'd pick him up when he was done.

I got in the car, and immediately tears started streaming down my face. That's when I discovered I'm probably more emotional than usual tonight (hormones??? idk) but whatever. There was no way I was staying there, bored, lonely, and having absolutely no fun. I'd rather be home cleaning than sitting there.

I can't help but think this is going to ruin things. I don't know how or why but I have this forbidding feeling that I can't get along with Tom's friends because I don't drink. Basically, I rarely associate with these people while they're not drinking and I can't be as open and uninhibited as they are because I don't drink. And so I look like the stick in the mud who won't have fun with them, just because I have a different definition of what's fun. I'd like to go out and go bowling, or skiing, or go to a movie, or play board games or cards or anything but all they do is drink. Maybe I'm overgeneralizing, but that's all I've experienced.

So now I'm back home, debating on what to do now. What do I say to Tom? Do I apologize or get mad? I want to get mad, but fear that won't help my cause at all.

On other notes, had a busy week last week. We had surgery or behavior to do every day last week except for Friday. On Friday we had a big AALAC inspection, so it was just a busy week at work.

Yesterday I noticed Kaylee was acting funny, like she had no balance. She kept rolling over and walking funny and actually wasn't very well groomed. I played with her for awhile and then totally cleaned out her cage (including hosing/soaping the aquarium), replaced all her food and water, and got her a new box and tunnel. She seems to be looking better today, definitely more groomed and less wobbly, but still a bit unbalanced. According to the internets, she might have an inner ear infection, but I'm hoping it will go away on its own.

Tomorrow I'm going to go skiing by myself. Kind of lame, but I don't have anyone to go with me and I really want to go. Not to mention my parents went to all the work of getting me my skis so I'd better use them! Hopefully they still have snow.

What I wouldn't give for a time machine...