Planet Earth

Planet Earth is brilliant. I've always thought so, but having recently acquired the BBC version on DVD I just felt the need to reiterate that point.

Again, I haven't updated in awhile, which sadly means that there will not be 54 posts this year as there have been for the other two years I've been writing in this blog. This year there will be a paltry 41 or 42 if I actually manage to post again before Saturday (unlikely).

Baby polar bears are adorable. There may be a few interjections like that throughout this post, but I just can't help it. Adorable!

So on the 15th my first Genetics lesson was due. 3 chapters to read, questions from each to answer, and a quiz to take. I started off well, reading the first full chapter and answering the questions, but then I started running out of time. Only read half the second chapter and only enough of the third to answer the questions. Sigh, already a bad procrastinating student. To make matters worse, my second lesson is due in a week but I haven't even begun reading the two chapters for it. I blame the holidays.

Speaking of which (ducklings!) I had my first Christmas the weekend following. Went down to Waterloo, IA to have my mom's side Christmas. Two of my three male cousins on that side brought girls - one a girlfriend of 4 years, the other a new fiancée. It was fun, we hung out on Friday night (played Apples to Apples and I lost horribly), had church and presents on Saturday as well as more extended family showing up for awhile, and ate food and drove home on Sunday. I got a car emergency kit, a winter hat thing, an Amazon gift card, and a check.

OOO Great Whites leaping to catch seals! <3>

The following week I worked, and on Thursday the 23rd Katie and I did behavior and then headed out. I drove down to Rochester and spent the weekend with the family + Megan's bf Kory. Went to see Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader and How Do You Know - first one was fun, second was long.

Turn around elephant, you're going the wrong way! That part always makes me sad...

Anyway, on Christmas Eve we all went to church at 4:30 and actually had to watch it on a big screen in the school because the church was full. Afterwards we headed out for Christmas Eve dinner at Olive Garden. It was delicious! We mostly filled up on salad and breadsticks, leaving plenty of our main dish for leftovers. We headed home and changed up tradition by opening presents. One of my gifts was the set of Planet Earth DVDs. I also got a heated mattress pad (which is warming my bed right now), U of MN sweatpants, and a crock pot!

Elephants playing in water - so cute!

Afterwards we watched White Christmas and headed to bed. Mom had to work Christmas Day, which explains the departure from tradition. It made for a strange Christmas - sleeping in, just hanging out, lounging in pj's all day (the last two aren't new but the first certainly is). Megan and Kory went back to Eau Claire to spend Christmas with his family. When mom got home she made the rest of us go on a family walk. We took Belle as well (in the Santa suit) and played fetch with her during the entire walk. The wind was freezing cold and it wasn't that much fun but it did force us to get dressed. We all enjoyed our leftovers for our Christmas meal. That night I gave mom her birthday present (plastic spoons) and anticipated leaving before she got home from work the next day (yes she had to work on her birthday as well). On Sunday I ended up staying and went to Noodles for lunch with Hannah, who got a job down in Iowa starting the Monday after New Years. Exciting for her! Then went home and waited for a few minutes for my mom to get home so I could say Happy Birthday again and then headed home.

But does the excitement end there? Of course not!

I went over to Nathan's house and got to meet his two brothers, Kevin and Brian, and proceeded to play drinking games with them and get smashingly drunk. Shots of tequila and some mixed UV Blue/Mountain Dew drink made for a very very interesting/intoxicated night. First time I've ever thrown up from drinking, and that made me feel great actually - the throwing up excess liquor part at least. I know I know I probably shouldn't be posting about this, especially considering my mother reads this and all, but this kind of stuff happens so rarely for me it's kind of an event that must be shared.

Managed to get to work on time on Monday, worked, and then went back to Nathan's to hang out and then go out to eat with him, his brothers, and his parents at Applebee's. It was the complete contrast to the night before. Whereas I had tons of fun with his brothers and felt really comfortable around them, I felt the complete opposite with his parents. They did not ask me a single question all night and the comments I made trying to insert myself into conversations or start up new ones went ignored/unanswered. I felt extremely awkward, uncomfortable, and unliked the entire time. Sigh. So that was a bust. Hung out again at Nathan's on Tuesday night and tonight he came over here. Been watching PE (obviously) and just now had a nice chat with Jordan about his plans for life etc. I should get to bed but I'll add my plans for the next few days and hope I eventually post about them.

Tomorrow I'm going to work in the morning and then head down to Rochester to hang out with Jackie before she flies back to California. I'll probably stay the night there and then head back up here to spend New Years Eve with Nathan.

My New Years Eves for the past couple years have been marked with events. 2008-2009 was the day that Jasmine died, one of the most heartwrenching nights of my life. 2009-2010 was the first night I ever got drunk, thanks to Tom's margaritas, playing Mario Kart and WoW and having a grand old time, to distract myself from the tragedy of the year before.

Deer with tusks! Seriously - image search "musk deer." It looks like a sabre-toothed deer!

This year I expect to be doing a bit of the same. Different company of course, but same basic idea.

I certainly hope 2011 goes better than 2010 did.

By the way, in case any of you felt a bit of deja vu reading the title of this post, it's because this is my second post by this title. I didn't realize until now, but check out the original: http://welcometothemaelstrom.blogspot.com/2009/01/planet-earth.html

Life Is A Highway

Just a silly thing that I refused to do on Facebook but will do here for funsies.

RULES:

1. Put your MP3 player, iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.

4. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

Another Day

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

All I Want Is You

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Apologize

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

No Good Deed

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

You Oughta Know

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

My Happy Ending

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

New Born

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

A Thousand Words

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Black Balloon

WHAT IS 2 + 2?

Shakey Ground

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Baby, Please Don't Go

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Bleed It Out

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Invincible

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Everybody Hurts

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

The Sweet Escape

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Sleep All Day

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Complicated

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

Bad Medicine

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Name

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

It's Gonna Be Me

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Bitch

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Life Is A Highway

Kind of lame yes, but some of the answers came out really fitting (like Muse's Invincible popping up for what I wanted to be when I grew up... just funny).

That's all, will update on life etc later.

Happy Turkey Day

So here's my attempt to get back in the groove of updating.

The rest of Wednesday was spent staying up late, packing, and watching the rest of the entire first season of Glee.

Woke up somewhat early on Thursday (~9am), finished packing, and went in to work for about 45 minutes. Then went home, put all the stuff in my car, put the rats in the passenger seat, and headed down to Rochester. Got home a little after 11 am and sat around with the family and had fun reintroducing the rats to Belle. Had the delicious Thanksgiving turkey meal around 1pm and then I can't even remember what we did the rest of the night.

Megan and I stayed up late, then all the girls woke up at 4:30 am on Friday. We headed over to Menards and waited outside in line in the freezing cold. It opened at 6 and a bit before then mom chatted up the security and found out where they were keeping the TVs (22" flatscreen for $100). As soon as the doors opened Sara and I rushed in to the spot while mom and Megan grabbed a car and we managed to get 4 TVs, 2 DVD players, 2 PUR water filters, and 1 bathroom scale. I got one of everything except the DVD player. We piled all the purchases into my car and then I drove home while the other 3 went on to more shopping. I got home and slowly brought in all the purchases. It wasn't until I brought in the last load however that dad woke up and came down to see what all the ruckus was about. Convenient timing I say. Went back to bed then for 4-5 hours. Later on Friday (~4pm) mom took us girls out to see Burlesque. I really liked it! It was a very basic plot, no real new excitement there, but man Christina Aguilera can SING!

I just took a 5 hour break here and completely lost track of what I was doing.

Okay so after the movie I don't remember at all what happened other than probably watching Animal Planet (Life) with Megan and Sara and making more Sneak-a-bite cookie dough. It didn't turn out very well though because I melted the butter a little too much. Then Belle stuck her nose in the bowl and we were done with it.

On Saturday I got up and called Jackie and she came over. We played with Belle and decided to go eat at Green Mill. Spent a long time there chatting about our lives and eating calzones (pretty good) but eventually she had to head out to go to the Holidazzle parade. Saturday evening Sara, Megan, and I met dad at BWW's but it was too busy so we went over to Culver's to eat instead. Ah my old Culver's, how I miss the people but not the actual job. I miss the discount too, but oh well. Don't remember Saturday night but probably more of the same.

Sunday I got up and went off to Noodles to have lunch with Hannah. We sat there and talked all through the lunch hour and beyond and probably could have kept going if I hadn't needed to get on the road. Went home, picked up Sara and packed all my stuff in the car, and headed back to Minneapolis. I discovered immediately that my cruise control wasn't working so I'm going to need to talk to Jordan about that. Got home, unpacked, and then Nathan came over for a bit and we watched Star Trek on my new TV - it was awesome.

Monday I got up, went to work, and had very little to do. After work I bummed around for a bit and then went over and hung out at Nathan's for awhile - watched some Big Bang Theory. Then Nathan, Chris, and I went over to the Cub Foods near their house and went grocery shopping! Although as soon as we got through the door those two took off and left me to my lonely self. It was fine though - I finally have food now and I don't know what to do with myself! Drove home in the rain, started unloading my car and one of the cheap paper bags broke on me. Was a very stressful end to the day.

Today (Tuesday) I got up, went to work, actually spent the whole day working, came home, and did nothing. While I'm often a fan of nothing, today it feels pretty lame. Played some games, watched some TV (Happy Feet!!), ate good food, and otherwise accomplished nothing. Although earlier today I did finally file a claim against the Half.com seller that never sent me the textbook I paid for (I also ordered another textbook from someone else - someone with 100% positive reviews). So I'm hoping that gets resolved.

Well I think that's it for now. My rats are being adorable and clamoring for my attention so I'm going to go give them some love and then shower and hit the sack.

Goodnight and good luck!

and during the last 6 weeks...

And so the bad habits return.

Have I been too busy to post?

Not at all.

I've definitely thought about posting here and there but just somehow never felt motivated enough to actually do it. Now it's the day before Thanksgiving and I have 6 weeks to catch up on - a daunting task indeed.

So here goes nothing!

The order may be a little screwy but I'll start with the jist of what happened the rest of October:

We played in the kickball finals and played great but lost by one run in the first round and then won our second round putting us in 7th place (out of 8). Not great but tons of fun. So that was the end of the fall kickball season.

The Saturday before Halloween I bought a couple of pumpkins and made Nathan carve one while I did the other one. It was the first one he ever carved and they turned out great! His is the kitty and mine is the scary face.

We spent Halloween at my house handing out candy and watching GATTACA and a couple of the Shrek movies.

Moving onto November then, a lot has happened!

On November 1st I signed up to take an online class through the University of Minnesota. It's a genetics class, extended term, and fully online (except for 3 exams), and is basically required for any vet school applications (which I'm now seriously considering). Paid my tuition and ordered the textbook on Half.com on that day and my textbook STILL hasn't arrived... that's been an ongoing frustration. Excited to start moving forward with my life though! I also bought GRE prep books and am planning on taking that at some point.

The first weekend in November Sara and I drove down to Rochester to go to Catherine's (our neighbor growing up, a grade above me) wedding reception. It was very fun and nice to go home. I also gave Belle a bath that weekend which mom really appreciated.

The second weekend in November Sara and I drove over to Eau Claire to visit Megan on Friday night. Emily (Sara's friend) also came and we spent a nice chill night watching movies, bowling, and eating cookie dough. Saturday we all went to Perkins for a late breakfast/early lunch and played a card game that I just don't remember the name of at the moment. Then Sara and I headed back to the Cities in crappy snowy weather. Arrived home to find a package fro m Denmark on my doorstep! Now that was certainly a pleasant surprise - especially once I opened it and found the chocolate, candy, and other random things inside it (including a kickass mustache!).

Had to work that Sunday - about 5 hours of animal behavior and extremely painful. Afterwards I went with Nathan house shopping with his realtor. She had scheduled 10 houses to visit, and since I went directly from work and with a headache that was also extremely painful. But Nathan bought me Taco Bell afterwards so it was all worth it :P

Finally this past Thursday night (Nov 17) was the midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. I went to it with Sybylla at the Mall of America theater. We got there around 10:40 pm and the line zigzagged from the theater at the south end all the way to the entrance for the east side parking. And kept growing after we got there! We didn't have to wait too long until the line started moving, but it moved painfully slow. Finally got seated (decent seats) and fully enjoyed the movie. This is probably the best movie as far as accuracy alongside the book is concerned. They did give Hedwig a more heroic role as well as a little speech for Dobby but those were good adds instead of the crappy singing toad crap they added to the third movie. It was a little slow but so is the first half of the book so it was pretty good overall. Really looking forward to the second part though! Didn't get home until ~3:30 so it was a slightly painful day at work on Friday - but well worth it!

This past weekend I worked again on Saturday followed by more houses (only 5 this time) with Nathan and then Dairy Queen as my reward :) Saturday night I went to see Unstoppable with a friend and it was actually better than I expected. Not fantastic, nor worth the exorbitant ticket price, but still not terrible. The terrible ice storm hit Saturday night while we were in the movie so I ended up spending the night (scary roads - passed 2 cars in the ditch on the 5 minute drive). Sunday morning I got up early and drove down to go in to work again just for about an hour to dose animals.

This week has been lame. Worked until about 6pm yesterday and 5:30pm today because we're writing a grant (money is good for lab morale) and it's just really annoying. Tomorrow (Thanksgiving) I actually have to go in for a little while to change tissue and then drive home to Rochester to see my awesome family.

In general, I have been watching a lot of Glee lately (almost done with the first season), am reading the fourth in the Sword of Truth series (on my Kindle - I'm an idiot for forgetting I had the ebook versions), finished watching the Legend of the Seeker as well as the first season of Battlestar Galactica, at some point got a frantic call from my mom about taking Sara to the ER but she turned out just feverish and okay (still went over and took care of her til mom got there), playing some WoW, waiting for my textbook to arrive (finally got to contact the seller since the shipping window expired yesterday), and hoping to start getting re-motivated as far as exercise, GRE, and future is concerned.

Thanks for catching up with me!

Also, I can kill you with my brain.

I need to buy a pumpkin

So Muse was fantastic. Chris and Nathan drove to my house and we took the lightrail up to Target Center from there. It turns out they had already eaten so we stopped at Jimmy Johns so I could get a sandwich and waited for Jeremy and Kyle. They arrived, we went in and found our seats, and then the opening band played (Passion Pit). They were decent - the lead singer sounds like a girl in my opinion - not that that's bad, just an observation (the lead singer is male btw). They got off, and then we all had to wait like 30 minutes for Muse to come on. Seriously, the crowd got so bored we started doing the wave... at a concert... wtf? After that went around a couple of times they finally turned the lights off and started. Had a great entrance - these building looking things just dropped the sheets covering them to reveal Muse playing in the middle. It was crazy! They opened really strong - Uprising, Knights of Cydonia, Supermassive Black Hole, and Hysteria were all played right away. They were great live too - not that it's a surprise but you just never know. It was different enough from the CD that you know they weren't lip syncing but still really good. So the concert was great, but eventually it had to end. When it did we all had to wait in a ridiculously long line to buy lightrail tickets which meant we missed the train and had a half hour wait for the next one. So the boys got hungry and decided to stop in the small pizza place across from the station. Cardboard-looking and tasting pizza was purchased (along with a drink for me) and awkwardness took place inside the shop (owners trying to throw some teenagers out... yea). Eventually got on the train and home. Was a good night.

On Wednesday around 6pm Vicki and I met at DQ and picked up an ice cream cake for Sybylla for her birthday and then delivered it to her house. She was completely surprised (she claims not to have been but she totally was). We interrupted her making dinner, but made her dive into the cake so we could have a piece as well. Stayed for about an hour but then had to let her get back to dinner.

Thursday I went back to Sybylla's house after work and watched her finish making another birthday cake. It was delicious cake but the frosting was less than fantastic. We hung out for awhile but then I went home.

Friday was a whole lot of nothing. People wanted me to go out and do stuff and I was like, no. Instead hung out with Nathan for awhile and accomplished nothing.

Saturday I was supposed to go in to work for an hour but my coworker went in earlier and did it herself. So I did nothing all day until later that night when I went out to see Wallstreet 2 with a friend. It was okay, I guess I was expecting a bit more action, not to mention Shia LaBeouf just seems too young to be playing an adult role. Apparently it's better if you've seen the first one, which makes sense. All I keep seeing is Louis Stevens from the old Disney channel show. Good times.

Sunday was a lot more nothing, other than discovering that my roommate cooked and ate my cinnamon rolls. Grrr. Also discovering that USA was playing all three Pirates of the Caribbean movies in a row... curse you television! Of course I "watched" all three...

Monday went in to work for about an hour (it was Columbus Day!) and then went down to the Mall of America to meet up with mom. She just drove Sara back up to the U and we met there for some tasty lunch at Arby's. I also went to Best Buy and bought 2 Muse CD's (Absolution and Black Holes and Revelations). Afterwards I had to drive Sara's cell phone (which she left in mom's car) up to her at the U and then back home for some quality time with my room. Went for a walk somewhere in there - was gorgeous outside. The whole weekend was in fact. Last October was all rain and (yes, believe it, I was walking to work through it) snow. This October has been beautiful so far! Of course I probably just jinxed it, but oh well.

Today I woke up, came in to work, dosed 17 animals, wondered where my coworker is (still wondering in fact), updated my blog, and will now be departing to try to find my coworker/s.

PS - I need to buy a pumpkin

Muse!

Okay so tomorrow I get to go see Muse live at Target Center and I'm so excited about it that I can't wait until tomorrow to post about it!

Which is kind of lame considering I really have nothing to say about it until it actually happens. Suffice it to say that I'm planning on taking the light rail there and back and going to see them with Nathan, Chris (for his birthday), Jeremy, and someone else who's name I can't seem to remember. Kyle perhaps? Anyway, I've spent pretty much all of today (after work) listening to Muse and reading the remaining 2/3 of A Plague of Angels by Sheri Tepper.

I bought that book in a used bookstore merely because I know I like the author. It wasn't until I started reading it (about a week ago?) that I realized I'd read it before in high school but didn't really get it. Finished it again today and it was so much better than I'd remembered! She has such a way with building crazy new political systems and possible futures for mankind it's almost surreal!

So while I did have a list of things I wanted to accomplish tonight (running errands, doing some stuff for a project for work, finishing tying together my tshirt quilt on my bed, etc) instead it's 11:30 pm and all I've done is eat some dinner and finish reading that book. And now updating my blog, because what better time to do that?

In other news, I have been sick now for far far too long. It's probably only been about a week but I have a continual cough (sometimes dry, sometimes not so much) and it's really just annoying.

Oh yea, I did have a semi-eventful weekend recently. The 24th-26th of September to be precise. Megan came into town and her and I escorted Sara and her roommate Kelli to some frat parties on campus. We also got some amazing burgers and malts at Annie's in Dinkytown - delicious & highly recommended by me! It was lame so eventually Megan and I went back to Sara's dorm and hung out until they got back, which is when we kidnapped Sara and took her back to my house where we all slept. Saturday we got up lazily and then drove over to (wait for it) Saint Sabrina's where Megan and I made a permanent mark declaring our sisterly love. That's right, we got tattoos. Mine says "Live" on my calf and Megan's says "love" on her wrist. Sara is planning on getting one saying "laugh" on her ribs (she thinks). Saturday afternoon then Megan and I drove down to Rochester to find a way to break the news to our parents. Got home then went to see a movie with mom (You Again - not terrible but not great) and then afterwards snuck in to see The Easy A (mom's idea! and again, not terrible, not great). In the car on the way home (because she was in such a good mood) we decided to break it to mom. Complete opposite reaction of what I expected. Instead of surprise and disbelief we got sadness and disappointment. We felt terrible. And then had to go break it to dad! He was less distressed by it but still didn't like it. Drove back to the cities on Sunday.

Lost a kickball game terribly on Tuesday. The ump wasn't calling time, ending plays, so even when our pitcher had the ball and thought the play was over the other team would keep running. We lost and our team got a bit upset but oh well.

This past weekend was much more uneventful. Ate KFC with Nathan, played hours upon hours of WoW (I'm lame, okay?), and pretty much accomplished nothing other than messing up my sleep cycle and experiencing hot Tang for the first time I can remember (delicious by the way - going to have to buy some of that stuff!).

Today was just another regular work day. Performed behavior on mice in the morning, made graphs in the afternoon, so on and so forth. One thing I may have mentioned previously but may not have is my concern about all these papers our lab is trying to get published recently. I am not listed on a single one of them. Some of them I understand since I was either really new when the experiments were going on (just learning) but some of them I contributed as much if not more than others who are listed as authors. I'm feeling very forgotten but I don't know what to do or say about it. Do I just keep quiet? Do I ask? I'm so chicken I'm afraid to ask... help!

My rats are adorable. They always climb to the top of the cage whenever I walk by, just wanting some love and attention (and they usually get it). Luna is still a bit chubby but whenever I feed them I try to give Evaine the bigger pieces so she doesn't get too skinny and Luna too fat.

I'm up way too late, and have done NOTHING. Curses. Well now I'm going to go shower and hopefully get some sleep.

Reminder - if you have any advice for what I should do about the papers at work please feel free to share!

Thanks and goodnight!

PS - Set list! Exogenesis: Symphony Part 1/ Uprising/ Knights of Cydonia/ Supermassive Black Hole/ Star Spangled Banner instrumental, Hendrix style/ Hysteria / Guiding Light/ United States of Eurasia/ Feeling Good (Michael Buble)/ interlude drums and bass/ Undisclosed Desires/ interlude/ Resistance/ Starlight/ House of Rising Sun instrumental/ Time Is Running Out/ interlude/ Stockholm Syndrome/ ENCORE Plug-In Baby/ Take a Bow

WoW

Wednesday after my birthday I skipped work to help Sara move in to college at the U of MN. Driving on the campus was terrible, as was parking, but I managed to make it there right after they got all the stuff from the car to the room. After we got done with that, the parents and I went over to the State Fair. Ate Australian Battered Potatoes, malts, and that's all I can remember at this point. Around 5:30 the parents left and I hung out in the Miracle of Birth barn until Vicki and Sybylla arrived. We ate cheese curds, footlong corndog, and Sweet Martha's chocolate chip cookies. We also rode on the skytram thing across the fair and had tons of fun.

On Thursday the parents came up again and dropped Belle off at my place (they went to a friend's cabin for Labor Day weekend). We went to the dog park up here once and that's when I discovered that she'll literally dive completely underwater to try to fetch things. That was kind of crazy.

Friday I drove down to Rochester and spent the rest of the weekend (including Monday) down there watching Belle, eating food, and being generally lazy (as far as I can remember).

Tuesday had kickball and I played great! Well we all did - won the game and I actually scored! It was brilliant.

Thursday I went to see Toy Story 3 at the Riverview with Hannah (who was in town catsitting). It was amazing and sad and wonderful, just like the first time. It inspired me to watch the first two movies later that week. And there's a part in the third movie that is a direct reference to the beginning of the first movie!

On Sunday Nathan, his roommate Chris and I went to the Renaissance Festival. It was awesome - saw vilification tennis again (some good burns about cucumbers and the Donner party), and a new good show called Moonie - the guy rarely talked but was hilarious! We ran into some of Nathan and Chris's friends (Crystal and Jeremy) who actually work at the fair (they dress up as the big creepy puppet that wanders around).

Tuesday Hannah came over and spent the night in the guest room. I also had kickball that night, and unfortunately we did not win. We were tied at 0 until the 4th inning, then tied at 1 until the 7th (and last) inning, and then they scored 4 more runs and then we scored none so we lost. Oh well. Had a fun night with Hannah though, watching TV and being semi lame.

Thursday Nathan, Chris, and I went and ate dinner at Jeremy and Crystal's (they're married) along with Kyle (friend of Chris and Jeremy). Pot roast, watermelon, and cookies (I brought the cookies). It was pretty delicious.

This weekend I hung out at Nathan's for the majority of the time. We went and saw Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (pretty good and definitely not your average movie) with Chris on Saturday.

Spent most of the rest of the time this month playing games. And not just any games, WoW primarily. Also tried Starcraft II and it's pretty damn fun but I'm not sure I'm willing to actually pay for it. I just played on Nathan's account - and just for a little while.

I've definitely learned a lot more about WoW (okay the rest of this paragraph is probably going to be me nerding out so feel free to skip this one and continue below) thanks to actually playing with people who play with me (ie Nathan and Chris). Did I know anything about dungeons or instances? Not really. Ever done the PvP stuff? Nope. The game is so much more fun and much easier to level now. And playing on a PvP server is much more exciting - it's more like CO now with places you can kill other people and places you can't. Having to watch out for that Horde level death character running past and hoping he doesn't see you so you can just get that last gorilla skin and finish the quest you're on. Wow, that was total nerdzone. Yep, definitely been playing way too much lately, but I'm still not sick of it! That's a new one for me, usually I get bored after awhile but I haven't yet. That's probably why I find The Guild so freaking hilarious - I actually understand most (if not all) the weird gamer references they make now.

Sad, I know. But I'm so much happier now than when I was redirecting my entire life around trying to get Tom back. Yep, I'm admitting it. I'm pretty sure the only reason I was out drinking and making drastic lifestyle changes was because I wanted him to see that I'm fun, I can go out and party as well as the next girl, and I wasn't just going to disappear from his life because he brutally dumped my ass on the concrete for someone else with no regard for me whatsoever. Okay, obviously still bitter and hurt about that, but not the point! The point is while I may actually enjoy the occasional alcoholic beverage, I'm much happier being myself. Still haven't really come to terms with being happy about who I am (why can't I just be the outgoing partier??) but at least I'm no longer in denial about it.

Since the slap by the way there has been minimal contact with Tom. Ran into him at work once and it was really awkward but brief and Joe and Katie were with me so it wasn't too bad. Still think about him too much though. Still hurts a lot sometimes. But I managed to not go to the Cardinal this Saturday (was conflicted about it because he was running the show so do I go just to prove that his being there won't stop me from going out and having fun or do I avoid contact because he's just not worth the shit I put myself through?). This insight into my craziness is probably only coming out because it's 2am on a Sunday night (Monday morning?) and I have to go to work tomorrow.

So I bought 8 postcards while I was in Colorado and I have not been able to find them. I'm intending to mail them to people (Gramma, Grandma & Grandpa, Sarah, Michael, Alan - ironic I know!, Javi, Kristin, and one more person I haven't decided on yet) but I just can't seem to find them! So if you read this know that I'm intending to send you a postcard and will as soon as I find them!

I still have to give Megan the tshirt I bought her there, but just haven't seen her since! Except birthday weekend... but I just forgot then.

Yep my mind is totally scatterbrained right now. Talking to Michael is fun though, he rarely pays attention anyway. Just shared the link to the awesome Mal/Castle reference (see here) and now I'm pretty sure it's time for me to go to bed.

Oh! One more thing! Awhile ago (can't for the life of me remember when) I bought Wizard's First Rule at a used bookstore. Just recently started rereading it (note: book series by Terry Goodkind that Tom got me into) and it's still as fantastic as the first time I read it. But I'm almost 3/4 of the way through it and I know I'll have to read the second one and I'm not sure what to do! I'll probably go check Half Price Books, or maybe even venture to a library, but if that all fails do you (my lovely reader/s) think it's kosher to ask Tom to borrow it? I'm guessing that's a bad plan, especially since this no contact thing has been working well for me(has it? I hope so...). What are your thoughts? This could just be me trying to reestablish contact because I'm masochistic and can't let go or it could be totally innocent must read book-ness that I get. I just can't tell!

Moral of this post: if you game, watch The Guild. If you read this, answer the above query. If you have a cookie, don't give it to a mouse.

Thank you, and goodnight!

Happy Birthday to me!

So again a lot has been going on. And like a lot of this summer it's heavily involved my family. Kind of crazy but I'm not complaining!

The festivities really kicked off on Saturday so I'll start there. Megan got to my house a little before 1pm and she helped me pack up quick and ate the delicious peanut butter sandwich I made for her before we headed out to Canterbury Downs to meet up with the rest of the family. We watched the horse races there and bet on a few. The most exciting was a maiden race (none of the horses had ever either raced or won before - one of the two) and there were 10 colts (boys) and just 1 filly (girl) out there. Well we all bet on Early Girl and she won! Decisively - like 3 lengths or something. Anyway, after we got tired there we drove back over to the hotel my parents got for the night and we all conked out on the beds and took a nap. Eventually woke up, changed, and we headed over to Mystic Lakes casino. I know right? A day full of gambling, what a good family bonding experience. Won on video poker, lost on slots, and then the whole fam took over a black jack table where we all came out ahead. Some more than others (I was one of the lesser wins) but it was pretty fun. Left and went back to the hotel for bed.

On Sunday we got up early (~9am), got ready, and headed to Valleyfair. Spent the day there - rode Wild Thing twice, Power Tower, Steel Venom twice, Xtreme Swing, Corkscrew, Renegade, the Wave, the ferris wheel, Thunder Canyon, the Hydroblaster, and a few others that I just can't remember. We also spent a few hours at the waterpark there. Overall it was an awesome day - I love Valleyfair! After we were done there (~6pm) we went back to the hotel to get my car and then Megan and I went to my house and the other three headed back to Rochester. Megan hung out at my house for awhile but eventually she headed back to Eau Claire.

Monday was blah, back to work after all the fun. On Monday night I stayed up late in order to call Megan at midnight to wish her a happy birthday. When she answered it was loud and she informed me that they were just leaving Taco Johns and heading out to the bars for her 21st birthday legality fun.

Which brings me to the big day: Tuesday, my 23rd birthday. Woke up, went to work and spent most of the day doing very little. Went out to lunch at the 5-8 Club (good burgers), snacked on the birthday cookie cake all day, and also worked on Illustrator on a new schematic (actually fun). Afterwards I went home and watched the last episode of Gilmore Girls (almost cried) and then got ready and headed out to kickball. Unfortunately I did not play very well (the ball actually kept coming to me and I got so flustered I didn't know who to throw it to, and then once someone threw it to me so hard it jammed my finger). We ended up losing that game. Went home and showered quick then drove to Southdale to meet up with Nathan and go see Inception. It was fantastic! Such a mindblow! I definitely have to see it again at some point.

Okay this is crazy - I started typing up this post about a week ago, completely forgot about it, and just now remembered to come back and finish it up.

And then I stopped again for a long ass time so now I'm just going to post this as is and start working on the next update.

In the meantime - watch The Guild. It's awesome (especially for gamer-nerds).

Colorado 2010 and everything since...

Yea I'm terrible, a lot has happened and I still haven't even caught up to Colorado yet!

So I'm going to start there and then pick up where I left off last time, hopefully the chronology (or lack of it) isn't too confusing.

Sunday August 8th - Partially already shared this, but once I arrived in Denver Hannah came to pick me up at the airport. We drove to the hotel which was very nice - it was an extended stay hotel so there was a full kitchen and couch and TV etc in it. We watched some Discovery Channel and then I was just too tired so I took a 2 hour nap while Hannah wandered around outside. Once I woke up I also went outside and walked to the park where Hannah was and hung out there for awhile. After that we drove over to Denver University where she gave me the tour. They had an interesting library with weird chairs. They also had bizarre lip sculptures and benches - very strange. Headed back to the hotel to watch more Discovery Channel and played solitaire. It started raining and lightning-ing over Denver and did for the rest of the night. That however did not stop us from driving out to the Red Rocks Amphitheatre around 7pm. It was pretty awesome - especially watching the storm over Denver and the rainbows. I took tons of pictures and we walked up and down lots of stairs until we headed out to drive to Lookout Mountain. Unfortunately we decided to follow the GPS and it led us to some sheriff's office. So then we drove around until we found it. By then it was completely dark and Denver was all lit up and pretty. Drove back to the hotel (GPS got that part right) and packed up some stuff before going to bed.

Ugh this updating thing is hard! You see, I kept a journal with a very basic outline while I was in Colorado but now I have to actually turn it into understandable sentences and it's all seeming like too much work. Oh well, here I go.

Monday - Woke up early, got out of bed less early, packed up and headed out. Unfortunately Hannah forgot her cell phone in the hotel and we had to head back and get it. Luckily we hadn't gotten far. We spent the morning and early afternoon at the Denver Zoo. There were MILLIONS of small children there though on field trips or something like that because a lot of them were wearing matching purple t-shirts. It was crazy and a lot of them were incredibly annoying. Anyway, we saw some freaky birds (it's a really nice zoo) and ate some yummy food and of course got myself a pin before heading out. We went to a gas station that was apparently in the not nicest part of town to get gas and ice for the cooler. We then headed out of Denver towards the mountains on I-70 and drove for about 3 hours to Sylvan Lake State Park. The drive was incredibly scenic going through most of the mountains and our highest elevation was around 11,000 feet. Thats more than 2 miles above sea level! Crazy! Got there (elevation 8,500 ft), managed to successfully set up the tent, and then went on a short hike around the lake. It was on that hike that my camera battery started to (and eventually did) die. So that was sad but we made some contingency plans to get it charged the next day. We wandered back toward the tent and the car and stopped at the office on the way to try to buy firewood. Unfortunately the ranger had left so we were out of luck that night so just ate crackers and peanut butter and planned out the next day. We headed to bed early (with little else to do but fill out my journal outline of course). Slept on the ground in the tent - it's quite chilly once the sun goes down!

Tuesday - Woke up ridiculously early (6am?) and was on the road to Glenwood Springs by 6:30am. I drove there and the mountain scenery continued to amaze me - you'd think it would all look the same but it changes! We got to the whitewater rafting place a bit early and checked in (and of course purchased another pin and a waterproof camera). While we were there I asked them if they could charge my camera battery while we were out on our trip and they agreed! So that made my morning extra happy, knowing I could then take many more pictures afterwards. We then went on the rafting trip with our guide Ben and 6 other people. We took a school bus up to a spot on the river, got in, and rafted our way back to the building we checked in at. It was an amazingly fun trip - we managed to get in the only raft without small children. Our guide was from Chicago and kind of cute. Very scenic (commonly used word in this post) and down the Colorado River. After rafting (and getting my fully charged camera battery) we went down the road to the DQ and got treats. We then went over to the tram and signed up for a cave tour at the top of one of the mountains. Had to wait for awhile to go on the tour so we took a short nap in the grass under a tree. We rode the tram up (fun) and wandered around the top for awhile - got another pin! Then we went on the cave tour with waaay too many people but our tour guide (Sidney) was excellent. The caves were very pretty and somewhat creepy (as caves are). We took the tram back down and drove to Eagle, got gas and groceries, and then went back to the campground. We managed to get firewood this time and also managed to start a fire with the help of Georgia Fatwood courtesy of our friendly Wisconsin neighbor. We made s'mores, blew up the air mattress, and had another early bed but a much more comfortable sleep.

Wednesday - Finally got to sleep in (until ~9am) and when we woke up we slowly packed up the car and tried to organize things. We took down the tent, finished packing, and headed out around 10am. On the way out we saw a little snake of some sort, it was cute. We went to the Sylvan Lake State Park Visitor Center where I (again) purchased a pin. I took the first driving shift and made it all the way to Rocky Mountain National Park. Right after we got into the park we saw a bunch of cars pulled over so we did as well. Everyone was out looking at a moose and her calf. We took a few pictures then carried on. We finally made it to the first set of switchbacks on Trail Ridge Road (up and over mountains!) and Becky (the car) stalled on me! So we turned around and drove back down and parked at a trailhead. We decided to let Becky cool off and went for a short hour long hike on Timber Lake Trail. Got back to the car just as it started to sprinkle rain and headed back up the mountain. Hannah was driving at this point and we managed to make it up and over the mountains - with a lot of stops for picture taking. We were at/above the snow level at some points! We stopped at the Alpine Visitor Center (another pin) as well as the Continental Divide. Saw some elk and some rainbows and some more amazing mountains before finally reaching our destination at Glacier Basin Campground. Got to our site and discovered it was incredibly open (no bushes or trees or any privacy between campsites). Set up the tent and the air mattress, started a fire and ate more s'mores (with gooey marshmallows because our bag of them melted) and also real food. Stayed up later than usual (10pm!) and eventually headed to bed. I was after Hannah and the minute I got into the tent with the door zipped shut the wind picked up and it started to rain. And then the wind was nearly blowing the tent down (it acted as a big sail) so I held it up from the inside while Hannah braved the storm and fixed the poles more firmly and pounded the stakes back in. Was a long harrowing night and once we got out of the tent the next morning the wind immediately blew it down.

Thursday - So we dealt with the tent fiasco by taking all the stuff out and putting it in the car and staking the tent down flat to hopefully dry. Then we drove over to the Glacier Gorge Trailhead where we started our 2.5 mile hike to Mills Lake. It was a gorgeous hike, but again lots of people on the trails. I took so many pictures my camera ran out of memory and I had to keep going back and deleting old ones in order to take new ones. We got there, ate some snacks, enjoyed the lake scenery, and then began the 2.5 miles back to the car. We did take one wrong turn which led us to a pretty waterfall but eventually made it back around noon. We went to Estes Park (town right outside the National Park) and ate lunch at a Taco Bell. We then went to the library there and checked our email and just hung out for awhile. Eventually we headed back to the campground where we started another hike (just 0.7 miles each way) to Sprague Lake. Was a short hike, pretty but nothing special. Got to the lake, took some pictures, then headed back. This is where it gets exciting because all of a sudden Hannah stops and exclaims and I finally see why. There is a huge elk buck standing about 20 feet off the trail in the trees in front of us. We stand there in shock trying to take pictures of him through the trees and then he walks down onto the trail and across it to go drink at the creek on the other side. It was insanely cool and I got some awesome pictures of him. We finally continued down the trail, both giddy with having finally seen wildlife up close and personal, when I spot a doe elk laying down about 30 feet off the trail. I was laughing and incoherent so it took awhile to get Hannah to believe me and then she saw it and the picture taking resumed. We finally managed to get back to the campsite and ate some grilled cheese and turkey sandwiches (and awesome chocolate cake from our neighbors who pitied us). We had earlier decided to not bother with the tent again but just sleep in the car so once it was dry we packed it into the car. We sat outside later than usual in order to stargaze a bit until we had gone through all our firewood and let the fire die. Curled up in the front seats of the car and actually slept fairly well that night.

Friday - Woke up and went on another hike (~5 miles) that started at the campground and went in a big loop. Again it was scenic and pretty and I took a lot of pictures of flowers on that hike. Got back around 11:30 - perfect timing since we needed to be out of there at noon. Ate a quick lunch then said goodbye to the campsite. We drove to Estes Park and did some souvenir shopping for the family (got a tshirt for myself as well) and eventually headed out. We drove to Fort Collins from there to meet up with my met-in-Australia friend Alan (who I posted about a lot in Fall 2008, not so good times but a long time ago). Met up with him at Colorado State University where we got the tour (and got to meet his girlfriend Amy). Went back to his apartment (huge and beautiful) where Hannah and I showered (that was amazing). Then went out, picked up Amy, and went out to eat at a nice pizza place. Good food and good conversation. Then we wandered around "Old Town" for awhile and found an awesome used bookstore (yes I purchased a book - Wolf and Iron by Gordon Dickson). Went back to Alan's where we watched Phantom of the Opera and fell asleep on the couch. Most comfortable night yet.

Saturday - Woke up early again (7am), got dressed, said goodbye to Alan, and headed out for home. We decided to skip the drive through South Dakota and just try to make it to Rochester ASAP. That meant driving through Nebraska. We drove all day, taking about 3-4 hour shifts, and finally made it home around 11pm. Unloaded the car, said goodbye to Hannah, and collapsed into my bed.

Sunday - Woke up late (9am?), got dressed, repacked my stuff, said hi to my babies and played with them, then waited for a ride home. Eventually got one from both my parents and had a lazy Sunday after that. That's about it for Colorado 2010, man that took forever to get through.

I've been talking about all these pictures I've been taking but haven't actually put any up here. Instead I decided I'll just put up the links to the 3 Facebook albums I made and you can enjoy them or ignore them at your leisure:
Album 1
Album 2
Album 3

Now, you've already heard a little about post-Colorado, but I'll pick up where I left off last time. I think I left off at Thursday, which makes sense. I totally forgot to mention about how I went to the eye doctor on Monday and am getting contacts! Hopefully that works out. Not sure if I mentioned this but on Thursday (less than one week after seeing Alan and a mere few hours before meeting up with Kristin) I got mail from Sarah! A little charm for my phone and an awesome bracelet (which I am currently wearing). So I'm not sure if the bracelet is magical or all the happy Australia/vacation feelings just took over my body but something in me snapped (for the better!). Suddenly I realized how stupid I've been. Because, let me just come out and say it, I've been spending part or most of every free minute I have thinking about Tom. Not intentionally, I don't want my mind to wander back to that subject over and over again, wearing it down like a dog wears down a bone, but I just couldn't help it. When I snapped, it was like a light went off in my head and it all made sense. Okay, it didn't make any sense at all, but I could stop thinking about it/him. Not sure if this newfound freedom can possibly last, but I think if I keep staying away from him I'll have a better shot of making it stick. To carry on with the story...

On Friday I went in to work, worked for awhile (most of the day) and then left early to drive down to Perrot State Park in Wisconsin. It's pretty much right across the river from Winona. So my GPS guided me down there, with only a couple of stops for gas and a potty break (at a DQ - yum). Got down there around 5:15 pm and reunited with the lovely Kristin. We hugged and talked and waited for her parents to get back from their journey to buy firewood. Once they returned we started up the fire and they started cooking food (grilled chicken, new potatoes, corn on the cob roasted over the fire, it was delicious). A lot of just hanging out by the fire happened that evening. We also discovered there were nasty millipedes/centipedes in the bathroom, as well as a couple of adorable frogs that could (and did) climb up the walls. Eventually went to bed (~midnight) when I started flipping out at someone via text.

Back story - remember my confession about the mysterious Nathan a few posts ago? About how we're just friends now capable of just hanging out and having fun together and how it was all innocent because he was seeing someone? Yea... well he was seeing someone briefly, and then he was seeing someone else, and then this past weekend actually drove to Fargo to meet up with yet another someone (clarification, he went on a couple of dates with each of these people, so not really "seeing them" just seeing them...). And of course, thanks to my recent snap, I had been spending a lot of my new thinking time thinking about Nathan. About why I ended it (because I wasn't nearly ready to start anything, still being completely obsessed with Tom and all) and trying to figure out what I felt now. And what I discovered is that I wanted to be in a relationship again. Specifically, with Nathan. Which sucks because I'd already dumped the guy, and even encouraged him to go meet new people and start dating others. And now I was sitting in Kristin's camper thinking about how he still hadn't texted me back from going out with his brother and his date and how incredibly jealous I was getting of this person that I encouraged him to go see.

Emotions. Can't live with them, can't live without them.

So I texted Nathan, over and over again, somewhat annoyingly. And he responded eventually and I mentioned we should talk and he got curious but didn't push me and so finally went to bed (once he stopped replying because he was going to bed... curse my obsessiveness).

Saturday! Woke up around 8:30am, ate a delicious lemon poppyseed muffin, continued my talking with Kristin and watched her make another excellent fire. Then her parents and I all headed into the car and drove over to Brady's Bluff Trailhead (I managed to spot the tiny sign from the side of the road) and began our hike. While this hike was pretty short (~0.5 miles), it was so hot, humid, sticky, gross that it really wiped us all out. Not to mention that it was short but quite steep going up the bluff. We finally made it to the top and her parents decided to go down the other side while we went down and got the car and drove to pick them up. Got back to the campsite and grabbed our stuff to go shower (a necessity!). Got back and played a game of cribbage while her parents went to shower (I lost, but only because she got a 20 point hand right near the end!). Her parents got back and started cooking burgers. We played a round with teams (Kristin and I won!) and then ate the burgers and pretzels and fruit (watermelon for me) and then I had to pack up my few belongings and head out.

Drove back to the cities, but this time the GPS told me to go through Rochester so I stopped at home for about a half hour to say hi to the fam (minus Megs) and watch Belle go a little crazy before heading out again. Got home around 6pm, cleaned up, changed clothes, and headed up to Amanda's house for the big birthday BBQ (I, her, Jeremy (her bf), and Amy (her friend) - same people we went bingo-ing with - all had August birthdays to celebrate). Got there with just Jeremy, her parents, and one of her new coworkers there. The night got a bit busier as time went on - a lot of mosquitos outside eating us alive, beer pong (I watched), Apples to Apples (I did not win), and Catch Phrase (my team won!). It was hot, humid, sticky, etc. but there was good food and it was a good time. Julie was in town this weekend though and had earlier attempted to get me to go to the Cardinal for karaoke later that night (post-BBQ madness) but I heard elsewhere that Tom was running the show so respectfully declined. Not to mention the BBQ madness lasted well into the night. I only had one beer right at the beginning and so drove myself home late to leave more couches available for the inebriated sleepovers.

The texting continued with Nathan of course, and I discovered that he went on a second date with the Fargo chick. Through all this texting, he somehow amazingly picked up that I was feeling something or unhappy (go figure) and told me he was going to drive home that night starting at like 1am so we could talk early in the morning face to face. I was shocked and uncontrollably happy. So I went home and went to sleep.

Woke up incredibly early on Sunday and drove over to Nathan's. Where we talked. For a really long time and barely got anything said. I turn shy when I actually have to talk face to face with someone about something important and I'm not very good at sharing my feelings so it took a long time for me to come out and say what I was thinking. And then of course he had to think about it and what he thought and felt and wanted etc.

So we watched movies and played games and thought a lot on Sunday.

Eventually, we decided to try again.

Extreme happiness :)

So we hung out after work on Monday, I made taco ring and then we and his roommate Chris went out to look at furniture (apparently they need a coffee table) and then to DQ/Orange Julius.

Tuesday we had cell injection surgeries at work which is always fun but was kind of weird. The mice weren't going down all the way - they were totally unconcious but very twitchy, like the muscle relaxant wasn't working or something. After work I made myself a plan to clean my room. Instead I watched the first 3 discs (yes that's discs, not episodes) of the last season of Gilmore Girls. Ate Eggos for dinner - yum - and mostly just wasted the night. I did manage to finish folding laundry that I had washed the previous weekend and put clothes away (in closet or hamper depending on their cleanliness), but that's about it as far as cleaning goes. I also played with the babies a bit - and they are getting fat! So I only fed them 2 small pellets of food each instead of medium sized ones. Random information, but of course the more recent it is the more detailed I can get.

So far today (Wednesday the 25th) I haven't done a whole lot. Saw Katie briefly, no sign of Joe, so I've been trying to do my online annual privacy training for the VA but it keeps not registering that I've completed it. It's getting a little frustrating.

I also just ran down to the basement to Tom's cubicle because apparently he found one of my hairbrushes in his car and was too lazy to bring it up to me or just drop it off at my house. Nah it was no big deal, although he did try to toss it to me and of course I failed to catch it.

And my work training finally went through! Hooray!

So this is going to be another exciting weekend coming up - doing a whole bunch of family things (Valleyfair, casino?, etc) for mine and Megan's birthdays so that should be exciting.

I think I'm going to stop it here and hope this exceptionally long post hasn't lost you all! Thanks for reading!

sleepy

So I've been incredibly bad at updating this month - apologies.

However part of it is because I've been incredibly busy! Which is awesome.

So when I left off I was heading out to dinner with Alaina and Amanda - which was a good dinner as I recall, very informative. Alaina is recently engaged, which is cool but terrifying. She's also moving to Wisconsin (today or yesterday possibly) and so I won't be seeing her much anymore. Amanda on the other hand I will be seeing on Saturday hooray!

Wednesday was a boring night (missing some kickball!) and Thursday was busy packing furiously.

Friday morning/early afternoon I drove down to Rochester with the babies. Got them all set up in my room with instructions to the momma as to how to take care of them and then headed down to Waterloo, IA.

We all (mom, dad, Sara, me, Megan, and Kory) went to my gramma's house for some bbq beef and then went over to the casino/hotel and met up with some of my dad's extended family. We hung out by the pool for awhile (very hot and humid) and then I wandered around in the casino and the hotel for a bit before Sara, Megan, Kory and I went back to gramma's where we popped in John Q and I promptly fell asleep.

Saturday we got up and slowly headed out to the waterpark. Spent some good time there, riding the rides, eating cookies, seeing my cousins, etc. Eventually though I had to leave and drive myself back to Rochester where I met up with Jackie. We hung out for about an hour just chatting and hanging out and then I went to my parents' and showered before driving back up to Minneapolis. Was up late late late finishing packing, got a couple of hours of sleep before driving to the VA and taking the light rail down to the airport for my flight to Denver at 7am.

Then the week of Colorado fun happened and I will expand on that later - luckily Hannah had notebook paper so I kept a very rudimentary journal (for at least the majority of the trip).

After returning from that lovely trip I have pretty much done absolutely nothing.

Worked all week - had really busy days yesterday (Wednesday) and today at work - a lot of behavior and dissections to do (busy, but actually kind of fun). Not been getting a lot of sleep though - and not even really sure why. Got about 4 hours last night and since I'm still up now I'm looking at maybe 5-6 tonight. On Monday and Tuesday I had doctor's appointments (one with the eye doctor - got contacts! and the other I got the HPV vaccine).

Well I promise to fill in the Colorado stuff later, whether in this post or the next, but right now I have to pack for camping with Kristin (the one from Australia) and sometime tonight I must sleep. So now I'm hoping to do just that.

Making some changes

Things are different.

I guess that goes without saying, since everyday people change in small subtle ways.

But sometimes a big change happens in a person's mindset overnight. That has happened to me quite a lot over the past 3 1/2 months (you may have noticed with all my rollercoastering posts).

However this latest one has actually stuck (for at least a week and a half - pretty good for me).

And what is this drastic change you might ask? Well, it has to do with the violent incident last Saturday.

Yep, ladies and gentlemen, I am much less emotionally attached to Tom. Thank you, thank you, I knew all it would take is some time (and apparently some douchebaggery on his part).

I still sometimes sit around and consider all the "what-ifs." I've still had a few dreams that seemed to be "happily ever after" tales.

But overall I'm much happier about life in general. Less stressed about what to do how to act who to hang out with etc and so on.

Enough of the "feelings" part of this post, time to get on to the good stuff.

So I left off last Wednesday I believe. Since I didn't have kickball for the first Wednesday in 3 1/2 months I was almost at a loss as to how to spend my Wednesday evening. Luckily, Vicki and Sybylla were free so we met up at DQ and talked for awhile. Then we went to Arby's, ate some more realish food, and talked some more. At some point we decided to go to Target, so to Target we went! I got some milk and then while wandering around we decided it would be a fun idea to dye my hair! Looked for some dye at Target, but they didn't have any non-permanent ones so we went to Walgreens! I told them they could pick the color so long as it was a natural looking one (i.e. I said no to the bright neon blue). They picked dark red (auburn it claimed) and so we then went over to my house where Evaine and Luna proceeded to greatly entertain Vicki and Sybylla. We dyed my hair and watched some of The Little Mermaid. It was a very exciting Wednesday.

Thursday I can't for the life of me remember what I did. I'm sure it was fun and exciting and probably involved watching Gilmore Girls.

Friday I went to a different second run theater in Hopkins, MN. I went with a friend (Nathan and I are friends now - and he's seeing someone else so it's legit!) and we saw The A-Team. I intensely enjoyed that movie! I kept calling what was going to happen next and felt really smart but apparently I ruined the movie. It's not like I actually knew what was going to happen! I just guessed and ended up being right! I also figured out pretty quickly that Murdock was played by the same actor as Wikus in District 9. That was pretty insane - he is a good actor!

Saturday I got to sleep in (yay!) until around 10:30am. Then I woke up and eventually drove over to the Mall of America to meet my sisters and my mom. We met at the Apple store (gag) where Sara bought her first laptop - a Macbook Pro. Again, gag. I tried and tried to talk her into getting a PC - so much easier, cheaper, and more convenient, but she wouldn't listen. Anyway, then we all ate at Noodles (mac and cheese made with penne this time! tasty) and then went swimsuit shopping for me. We basically hit all the four major department stores as well as a few in between and of course the only one I really liked was from Macy's and was the only swimsuit there that was not on sale. Over my protests my mom bought it for me anyway. I do really like it... Wandered around the mall some more, stopping at other stores and got myself another pair of jeans that actually fits me now without having to super-belt it. Went to the Tollhouse Cafe and the sisters and I had a slice of cookie (delicious) and mom had a turtle brownie. So sweet and rich but too delicious to resist. Eventually we all went our separate ways - Megan to Eau Claire, mom and Sara to Rochester, and me back to Minneapolis. Stayed up late for no reason on Saturday, just because I'm not smart I guess.

Woke up ridiculously early on Sunday (read: 5:45 am) and got on the road to Lake City this time. Lost my directions (left without them actually) but still managed to make it there - basically it was the same as to Colvill Park in Red Wing but instead of getting off 61 to turn into the park you just keep going until you get to Lake City. So I remembered how to do it and made it there again somewhat on time. Mom was there as well, to my surprise, so her and dad and I went out fishing. Did not catch much at all, mom and I each caught a sheephead early on but then nothing. Tried about 4 different spots with no more luck until the very end. The last spot we got to I caught a very nice sized crappie on our first pass across. Then mom almost caught a really big fish (unknown species but it broke off her line when she almost had it up to the boat). Then dad finally caught a fish - another crappie about half the size of the one I caught. Then he caught another one and I caught another sheephead and then we had to turn in. Dad had a golf tournament later that day so we had to leave by 12:30 (which is one reason why we had to get there so early). Debated on keeping the crappies but eventually decided to let them go. After loading the boat onto the trailer (with some difficulty due to some idiots in the way) we parted ways.

I ended up seeing my entire immediate family this weekend, which was a lot of fun. I'm noticing more now how close my family is. At least, we can all get together and have fun together now that we're not all living together. I wonder if that's how it is with a lot of families? Granted, I'm sure a big part of it for me is from my depression over what happened in April-now but still.

Anyway, on Monday (yesterday) I went to Kohl's looking for a cheaper swimsuit (still have the tags on the Macy's one in case I find a decent one elsewhere) but had no luck at all. Slim pickings and the only one I actually liked had no bottoms at all (other than one pair that was WAY too small for me). Then I went and hung out with Nathan and Chris (his roommate) - watched some Firefly and ate their brownies.

This week is looking pretty busy - tonight I'm looking forward to seeing Amanda and Alaina at Burrito Loco and tomorrow I'm going out to a new place I've never been before. Then Thursday I will be furiously packing for Colorado, Friday I will be driving down to Iowa for a family reunion, Saturday I will drive back up from Iowa, maybe spend a couple hours hanging out with Jackie in Rochester, then driving back up here to get some sleep before I fly out at 7am on Sunday morning.

So now my hair is reddish (there are still some blondish streaks but it doesn't look too bad), my emotional status is better, and I've got plans until August 17th.

Oh, and I might be thinking of getting a tattoo...

Oh violence, bittersweet

I have much to share my friends and family members. And at the present time, my sense of the dramatic has overwhelmed my typing phalanges and thus this may be a most interesting post.

That may have been it as far as dramatic sentences go, it seems I've lost that particular motivation.

However, I do have much to relate.

I'll start with Wednesday, because I don't think much happened on Tuesday.

Wednesday we were supposed to have our last kickball game - a make up from the first game I attended at which the umpire failed to show up. Unfortunately we didn't get to play because this time it was the other team that failed to show up. We sat around for awhile and then the majority of us went to the 5-8 Club to eat burgers and drink beer (or water in my case). It was fun, pleasantly social, but alas it had to end. And thus I bid adieu and farewell to my summer kickball team!

I did sign up for (and pay for) fall kickball though, so I will be seeing some of them again!

On Thursday I did nothing, except mildly attempt to tidy up my room. It's been getting messier of late...

Friday, immediately after work, I "ran into" Tom. It was intentional in order to see if he was planning on going to the Cardinal on Saturday (this Saturday being another karaoke night). He assured me at the time that he had other plans and would not be attending. So I rode my bike home in a decently happy mood.

Friday night was quite exciting. I drove up to Amanda's house and then she, her boyfriend Jeremy, her friend Amy, and I all went to Crystal-frolics - some fair type thing in Crystal, MN. We drank a little, wandered a little, and played bingo a lot! Amanda, Jeremy, and I all ended up winning at different points in the night! I won a whopping $35, which was pretty awesome! In the middle of bingo there were some (I think awesome) fireworks. They were mostly awesome because they were literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. I actually took some video of it on my phone - if I can figure out how to I'll try to add it in here. Okay the video isn't working but here's a pic I took from my phone:

So that was Friday, it was actually more fun and exciting than it may sound. I got up early again on Saturday - 7:30 am, and drove back to Colvill Park in Red Wing to meet dad again for fishing. This time I was on time! Well just a couple minutes late... Went out, anchored, and started fishing. And almost immediately started catching! I actually lost track of how many fish we each caught, and we got up to around 7 different species of fish! We ended up keeping one nice sized walleye and had a pretty good day.

After I got home and napped and showered I received a text message from a friend informing me that Tom and Jen would in fact be going to the Cardinal. So I called Tom, intending to find out why and if it were true. Of course he didn't pick up so I proceeded to text him. And that's when the trouble started, little did I know at the time. Tom told me that he was coming out because the friend in question wanted to go out to a strip club afterwards. I thought that was a random thing to say, especially considering it made no sense at all, and so texted the friend to clarify. It was halfway confirmed and I attempted to let that part of it drop while expressing my unhappiness to Tom that he was coming, even after assuring me he wouldn't be. (I was just upset because I like going to the Cardinal, had no other potential plans for Saturday night, and still cannot handle seeing Tom and Jen together). I was then informed that they would be coming late (around midnight) if at all.

So I drove over to the VA, parked my car, and took the light rail up to the Cardinal where I watched the same 3 people sing over and over again. It was incredibly dead. Facing the possible arrival of the guy I was still in love with and his mommy-aged girlfriend, plus the fact that I intentionally took the light rail, I proceeded to get a wee bit (okay a bit more than wee bit) drunk. Because it was so dead, and in my intoxicated state I was feeling pretty good, I actually texted Tom and told him he should come out. But then later, when friend from before went to the bathroom, I did a bad thing. I looked at his phone, and the texts between him and Tom. And there I saw it. Tom telling him that he was making up some shit to tell me about a strip club, and to "just play along." Anger. Overwhelming, unbridled anger overcame me. Tom lied to me, intentionally, for no reason other than to manipulate me, and even got our friend to do the same. I don't think I've ever felt such betrayal, hurt, and uncontrollable rage before in my entire life. It wasn't even the subject of the lie, it was the fact that it was there, blatantly staring me in the face. And what had I done to deserve it? What else has he lied about? All the things rushing through my brain, one of the conclusions I reached was that he must have cheated on me before dumping me. Perhaps not the most rational of conclusions, but I was not thinking rationally at the time. I texted Tom immediately, calling him out on the lie and asking why. No response of course.

When friend came out of the bathroom, he saw my angry face and asked what was wrong. I confessed immediately, apologizing for invading his privacy so badly but then still fuming in anger at Tom. At which point friend leaned over to me and said "Tom and Jen are here."

I couldn't believe it.

I stood up in a blind rage, walked around Jen and looked at Tom. Things happened in slow motion. What struck me for a split second was that he was wearing the silly black hat that he wore the first time I saw him outside of work, on Halloween night at McMahon's. He was wearing a white, similar-looking shirt as well (possibly the same). That was all in the back of my mind though, to be processed later. So I walked around Jen, and Tom held his arms out smiling, not sure what he was trying to communicate, but I walked up to him and slapped his face with all my strength.

Yep.

I slapped the fucker (pardon my French).

I remember seeing his face turn to the side post-slap and then me using my momentum to carry me on to the women's restroom. Where I proceeded to find a stall and cry my eyes out for the next 15 minutes.

I came out eventually and ran into friend. I informed him that I slapped Tom, to which he replied "I know, I saw." Which pretty much told me that probably everyone saw.

I was so incredibly embarrassed. I grabbed my coat and walked out to the train station. Where I discovered that I had just missed a train and would have to wait another 45 minutes for the next one.

So I hung around outside for awhile, still in shock, but eventually went back in and told friend the deal and he offered me a ride home after he was done running karaoke.

I sat there, shaking and crying, and then saw Jen walk back in. I thought she and Tom had left but nope. This meant at least that Tom was outside without Jen, so my drunken self took that opportunity to go apologize to Tom. Which was horrible because he was sitting out there with one of his military friends who refused to leave when I said I needed a private word with Tom. She was so mean, I don't care if she saw what I did I was obviously crying and obviously needed to talk to him about it and not in front of an audience. But she didn't leave and even later after I was shaking and balling in front of them she offered to leave and Tom told her to stay.

He has no respect for me. I don't understand what I've done to deserve this sort of treatment from him. Even after I apologized for slapping him he still never stopped smiling or showed any sort of remorse for lying to me.

It was pretty much horrible.

But I got a ride home eventually.

Sunday I slept in a bit. Unfortunately I had a lunch date at Noodles and so I had to get up at around noon. Went and had some decent mac and cheese, and then came back and slept some more. Spent the rest of the day watching Gilmore Girls (which I've been doing a lot of lately) and being generally lazy (which, let's face it, I always do a lot of).

Monday - slow lazy day at work. Monday night - watched Stardust (excellent as always) with a friend.

Today (Tuesday) - another slow lazy day at work. Tonight - went out and saw Despicable Me with another friend. It was alright - enjoyable but not the amazing movie I was expecting.

I really want to see Inception but am finding it difficult to find someone who wants to see it and hasn't already.

My rat babies are doing well, they're as cute and curious as ever. Evaine gets bolder everytime I let her out and Luna is still pretty mild, generally staying on my shoulder.

Listening to Muse a lot - I seriously can't get sick of listening to them. It's really making me want to go to a concert, and they're actually coming to Minneapolis at the beginning of October. Now I just need to find someone to go with...

I've also made some more semi-definite plans about Colorado with Hannah. We're going to Denver, Glenwood Springs, Estes Park, and Fort Collins for sure with a zoo trip and a white water rafting/cave tour as well. There will be some exploring of Rocky Mountain National Park and we're also planning on driving back through South Dakota (along with a million bikers - it's Sturgis week!).

Now I really need to get to bed. I wasn't sure if I should actually admit to what I did on Saturday night, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

On one hand, he deserved it, he's deserved it from me for awhile now, for a variety of reasons. But on the other hand, I never really like to think of myself as a violent person, the ex who slaps. Not to mention it wasn't the time or the place or even the right motivation for it.

But the incident has decreased my emotional attachment to Tom. Not erased, just decreased, but hey it's a start.