Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Life... and shit

So I figured that it doesn't really matter what I talk about in this blog because, hell, it's my blog! So I'm going to rant in this one. I'm currently watching Transformers, it's on one of my family's million channels - I'd forgotten how completely awesome (and pointless) American television is.

Worked at Culver's, 4-10pm. Got there a little early and didn't get my break until about 8pm. We were waaay overstaffed so everything in the crew section got very very clean tonight. Then of course at 9:58pm (2 minutes until closing) we got a huge rush in the drive thru. The stupid managers didn't turn off the outdoor lights until everyone who came was gone, anyway it just meant I had to stay an extra 15 minutes which was annoying but fine. So my feet hurt again but this time legitimately.

Watching Transformers is very distracting. My dog is sleeping on the floor and her leg keeps twitching - its very cute. Sara's off at a work camp through our church (in Pennsylvania for a week). Mom and dad are sleeping and Megan is in the basement with her boyfriend Brian - they're watching Jump'd. Makes me feel really lonely. Like seriously alone and unloved. Oh semi-depression hits fast doesn't it. Ah the awkward scene with Sam and MiKayla in the car... and I've got Lonely by Akon stuck in my head.

Was talking to Sarah earlier, heard about her birthday with Main on Rottnest - sounds like she had fun. Have to go back to Mayo tomorrow around noon for another lecture thing and to get my TB test read. That sounds fun, time for more random ranting and rambling etc and so on and so forth.

So I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do, like with my life and all. Sounds deep but it's mostly just confusion at this point. I've got this new research lab job and I'm really curious to see how that goes. I've always thought that I wouldn't want to work in a lab, with microbiology stuff especially. I was never really into the cell-level or smaller biology and behavior and animal stuff was always more interesting to me. But if I enjoy this job, any job in labs like this would probably pay more than what I could come up with elsewhere working in animal behavior. And it probably won't be that bad and even pretty exciting at times. Man my feet are still sore. Glad I have tomorrow off at Culver's. Back to my life decisions, or should I say lack of. Wow I'm at a loss right now - too distracted by the movie. I hope I work on my painting tomorrow instead of wasting my day watching TV and movies again. Bumblebee is so cool. I think my dog just farted. Yep she definitely did. Wow that's potent. So yea, I kind of want to skip the summer and just get back to Gustavus. I'm not sure why though, I guess I just miss hanging out with friends and everyone here is too busy working or on vacation to just hang out. Not to mention I don't really see them that much now that high school is over and has been for 3 years now. I'm seriously missing Australia. Not so much the country and the weather but definitely the atmosphere and the people.

God I'm lonely. Sam's happy time, my special alone time. I need some of that. Or some not-so-alone time. I want to grow up. Lane got married at 22! Granted Lane is a fictional character in a TV show but still, people do it. I feel like I'm behind everyone, everyone seems to pair off so easily or at least be able to find someone to be with for awhile but of course not me. I have to be difficult. I hate men. No, thats not fair, its not their fault. I'm just being me, in the worst possible way. Sad, lonely, introspective, and mildly cranky Kat is never the funnest person to be around. Luckily for everyone else in existence, theres NO ONE around me. Hence the loneliness. I didn't get enough time, and it's not fair. I want more and there's no rational way to get it. Life should be fair, even though it isn't. I want a Mountain Dew. And a man. But not necessarily in that order. And of course not just any man, I'd like a very specific one or at least one that meshes well with my personal preferences. Poor sad pathetic lonely Kat busy typing her thoughts out for the world to see while sitting home alone watching Transformers.

So Brian left, Megan came to watch the movie with me. Now she's texting him... hey Main's online! Cool. So talked to him for awhile, now the movie's over and I'm still feeling lonely but Main's talking about visiting the States so that's a bit happier. Now if only I could get Michael over here...

Just started watching Little Miss Sunshine with Megs so I guess I'll end this rant for now. This was fun, in a semi-depressing yet relieving sort of way.

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