Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama for the win!

Yes ladies and gentlemen the polls have closed and the ballots are in and we will soon have a new President of the United States. Barack Obama is underlined as misspelled... how sad. In reality though, this wonderful development for our nation has interesting repercussions for my personal life.

Sad that I jump straight from the fate of one of the most powerful nations on the planet to myself, but I guess I am a selfish being at heart. More like, I know you all can read about the upcoming changes in the worldview in dozens of places online, but only here can you learn about my personal turmoil.

Anyway, like I said, this changes things. Not that I was hoping for McCain to win, I definitely voted Obama, but with this Democratic victory I no longer have the excuse I could have used to leave the country. With new leadership the US of A might go back on the rise and be the "hip" place to be again (I sort of doubt it but if it can change so much in 8 years... who's to say?). Not of course that I have to be living at the "hip" place, in fact I'm more likely to not. All that being said, I desperately desperately wanted to leave as of this time yesterday, and now I'm not so sure. Is this me settling? Accepting reality? I do love Minnesota and the States at heart, loyalty was always one of my more honored qualities, but I still feel the urge to get away. I'm not sure if this is a travelling urge, see the world once on a glorious vacation (or series of vacations) or a true I-want-to-live-somewhere-else urge.

Sigh. Confusement. Wow, that's a real word. Strange...

And of course in lesser news, I've completely recovered from the issues presented 2 blogs ago. Which is strange, but not at all unexpected due to the conclusion I've drawn.

As I said before, I was rebounding and that made things difficult. What I've since realized is that instead of attempting to start a new relationship, I merely transferred all my emotional baggage/attachment from the previous to the new. That of course meant that I was far too attached to the new, yet made it exceedingly easier to get over the old. Now that I've realized this, I'm completely over what was the new. If this is confusing, well I'm sorry but it makes sense to me! My latest problem of course is that the emotional attachment/baggage isn't gone, it's merely transferred back to the old. Which is a dangerous place for it to be because that means that I'm back to stalking and tormenting myself for no reason whatsoever because it is something that is NEVER going to happen.

Unless I buy a plane ticket...

... with negative funds! Gah, see what I mean?!

I wish I could take the emotions aforementioned and just release them into the wild! Let them go haunt someone else for a change.

Another issue that is completely related to this and even more uncontrollable is my latest sequence of dreams. I keep dreaming about someone, nothing dirty or sexual at all it's just so much fun! We do random things in my dream but the point is that I feel the least amount of stress and worry and feel so completely happy and free that I never want to wake up. It's exactly how I feel all the time now. Reality is just too much to handle, so I focus on my dreams and try to prop them up as potential realities, but are they really? Do these dreams have a chance in hell of coming true?

I have no idea.

So the point is, I am as confused as ever about my life, ecstatic over the fate of the US, and in pain because I slipped in a puddle on the way to the shower and hurt my knee.

Also I shaved my legs today - silky!


1 comment:

ECL 1996 said...

Sorry to hear about your knee. I hope it gets to feeling better soon.

Glad you're feeling a little bit better, I was concerned about you.